It okay.

This morning has been semi-productive. Dishes, dusting, laundry, ect.
To make the chores more bearable I put on some music. Pretty soon I was flying through it like nothing. Right before I finished, a song came on, and there was a line in the lyrics that made me pause and think of my Dad.
In that moment I was grateful for our him and our relationship, and strangely I was also grateful for all the hardships that have blessed us.
On that line of thought, my brother also came to mind and he too was included in my gratitude for what we have.

The past three weeks have been full of saddness and anger as I struggled with my past. But today I came to a beautiful conclusion that made everything right.

I imagine when forgiveness is easy to exchange, my joy and freedom are equal to the effort required, but when I experience forgiveness for the unforgiveable..... I am allowed a glimpse of something closer to divine trancendence. Something much bigger than me, something to ponder and wonder at. Something that points me towards God, something that humbles me, something that heals my soul.......and I am silent and let it wash over me.

This morning, hands all soapy, doin' dishes, my life seemed to make perfect and wonderful sense. As I listened to the words in the song, the anger and saddness gently floated up and away and the holes in my heart filled with light and a profound thought came to me as tears rolled down my cheeks.

It's okay.
I mean it. All of it. It's okay.