Thought for today, and hope for tomorrow.

I will not abuse myself by stuffing my face with my son's Halloween candy.
I will just eat a couple, not all of them.
I will hide them from myself so when I open the fridge they are not staring right at me.
I will not obsess about chocolate. or kitkats, or Reeses, or M&ms or Hersheys.
I have mind control.
I am in control!

He gimme one Kee-ra-zee Kine Stink Eye!

I passed the most difficult period of time in the quit smoking thing. Seems like every time I quit, Tim gets on my nerves so bad. I don't know why, but he acts up EVERY dang time I try to quit, he just does stuff to make me so crazy.

For the couple days previous, I was getting more and more irritated with him. I tried to hold it in. Well, finally it was Friday. We had a sitter for Luke and were going to dinner and a movie but during dinner, I just went totally beserk. He had made a weird look at me and I went completely agro.I don't even know what happend! I basically felt compelled to tell him all the stuff he does that annoys me. Then we left the restraunt and I said I didn't feel like going to the movie anymore. I was too mad. So he took me on a drive instead. After the drive I felt better.

Then Tim suggested that maybe I was just uptight because I'd quit smoking and that he didn't really do anything. I thought maybe thats true for a minute....but then....I was like no way. I know when someone looks at me all crazy kine stink eye.

Forget That!

Piano came today

I finally got my piano! Yaaaay! I got it from the Salvation Army, and my friend works there so he gave me a killer deal. $50! So I'm so happy about that. Luke and I both started lessons last week. It feels awesome to finally have a piano to play again after all these years. I'm going to get music for L.A, song by Beth Hart tomorrow.

Happy Halloween Peeps.

KInda like crack, but not.

I was reading this website the other day about a bunch of super cool stuff. Zen type stuff. I book marked the site so I could see what was up with trying to get more Zen in my life. They had so many great ideas about simplifying life. One of the ideas I liked the most was how to declutter. So today, I decluttered my linen closet and dangnagit, it looks GOOD! WhOOHOO! The joy. The sheer satisfaction. Its so extreme. I seriously recommend doing this. I mean seriously, its freakin EUPHORIC! I actually had to take photos of it.

Whew. So I am truly moving forward in my search for a zen-filled life according to the website.Yesssssssss!


Tim once told me about a business associate of his that was such a high-strung, creative type, that he told Tim that he HAD to meditate daily or go whack. So I'm thinking, yah, maybe me too. You know, if I'm not smoking I am a bit high strung....you know....energetic....like on crack, but not. Its just me completely natural. I guess I'm lucky.

blah. blah blah. blah.

Tim went to church this morning and then off to show an apartment he has for rent. I am killing time on the computer and Luke is lying on the floor watching Ninja Turtles.

I really need to figure the darn picture posting thing because Luke has taken to wearing his bright green Ninja Turtle costume with the shell on his back daily. His best friend and our neighbor, a boy named Keenan who is 5, wear their costumes and run around the neighborhood together after school. Keenan has a Spiderman suit. The costumes are both full body and zip up the back. Masks too. I will try to figure the photo thing out tonight.

I feel like crap. I know its just the nicotine thing probably plus hormones, add being slightly crazy and wallah.....you get me. It totally sucks. I do not feel together or normal. I am offended easily by loud noises and abrubt physical contact. All I want to do is shop. Yeah, I am the wife of the year...I know. But shopping totally relaxes me, I feel like I'm floating. totally focused. never mind.

So I may be coming apart until I find an activity that I can do on command to ease my mind or anxieties....something like smoking...but not smoking of course. I am thinking maybe........a nail file....so I can tweak with that....and maybe morphine....I don't know. I might be dying of some horrible brain disease.

You can probably see that I was not an easy child to raise.

Off to shop at the Goodwill. I will find a treasure that will change mankind. Someone accidentally threw out something totally awesome. I will find it. Thus, change the free world as we know it.

Today, I do not believe in Majik.