I LOVE LUKEY!

Tim and I got these photo keychains as a little souviners from his highschool reunion. They were selling them as keepsakes. Two for $10. For whatever reason we bought the corny plasitc momentos. I joked with Tim that I would make sure he carried his on his keychain

When we got home Luke noticed the keychain. He imediately grabbed it and excitedly exclaimed, "This is MINE! I want this for ME!"

It was so cute how much he liked it. I mean after all it was just a picture of his parents. Our heads all squished together, cheek to cheek with corny grins on our faces. But he liked it. He demanded I hook it on the handle of his school bag.

So now each day he proudly carries our picture to school with him.

Children are so beautiful. They just eminate love. It's hard to believe.... I guess you'd have to have been there to see his delight and enthusiasm wtih the keychain, and his fierce pride when he got to school and showed his friends the momento, "HEY! You guys! LOOK! This is my PARENTS! SEEEEEEE!!!!"

(I'll probably have to read this over and over when he becomes a teenager but for now I can revel in the fact our son actually wants people to know we are related.)

A Cool Message From My Mom

A few days ago I decided to reorganize Lukes room. I bought these cool canvas pop-up storage boxes to put all of his toys in. Today Luke and I opened up the package and popped open the boxes. He loved them. They are in bright red and bright blue and they stack in two towers of three. So we dumped his toys out all over the floor and started to organize according to size.
Thinking what a great concept these boxes were, I bought myself a few as well. I have a stack photo albums and journals and other random stuff on the top of my closet. I hate looking at it because it's such an eyesore. Finally I have these chic new boxes to give it a nice clean look up there. My boxes, by the way, are black and tan, very cool.

After finishing with Luke's stuff I started on mine. Half way through the project I came across a letter. I recognized my name on the envelope written in my mother's hand-writing. I realized it was the letter she wrote from her death bed to say goodbye to me. I read it in a half frozen stupor, still not willing to let the grief fully surface.

Nearing the end of the letter, she said that if God was willing she would watch over me like a guardian angel. She wrote that she would enjoy seeing me raise my children and added that it would be a challenge as well as a joy. I put the letter away and finished my organizing task.

A bit later in the evening I started to do dishes but that last words in the letter kept popping into my head. The words about her being a guardian angel. As I washed dishes in the warm soapy water it suddenly dawned on me, and I pulled my hands abruptly from the water, that today was her birthday. May 13.

Happy Birthday Mama!

Hey Everybodeeeee!!!!

Yesterday Luke, Tim, and I went on a walk. Luke brought along his new skateboard he got for his birthday. It took quite awhile to get him all ready. First the long pants,(play pants not his good pants, long sleeves...)then all the gear, the elbow pads the knee pads, the wrist guards...on and on...FINALLY, we get out the door.

We are almost to the corner, yah! its a beautiful day in Hawaii! I'm excited! Tim and I are holding hands too. Then, I hear Luke yell at the top of his lungs,"HEY EVERYBODY, I POOPED IN MY PANTS ON ACCIDENT!!!!!!)

Luke is standing there with big round bewildered eyes. We turn around and I am about to laugh out loud and Tim gives me a dirty look warning me not to laugh. I hide my mouth behind my hand and look down while Tim heads back towards Luke. After I gain control of myself I catch up with them and explain to Luke and Tim that when Luke eats a half sheet of Birthday cake and 6 chocolate cupcakes and 2 pop tarts....well, he gets the runs. Thats just what happens. No big deal. So Tim gets him all cleaned up and we go through the whole dressing routine again and start over.

The walk was worth it though.

Disjointed

It has been so long since I last wrote, but life has been moving too fast for me to stop to record my observations.....too much craziness..
I swear, I see my life, well the whole world actually, in vivid living color. I find it exciting/exhausting and some people find it manic..but whatever.
First of all the whole quit smoking thing is entering it's 4th month. I finally feel confident enough to say I quit and not 'I'm quitting.' It feels good and now I also feel far enough away from the beginning of the journey to comment on it with some perspective.
Letting go of smoking has been one of the major struggles of my life. It had filled in so many moments and gaps...it was my absolute best card for coping with life. Unfortunately my best card was bad for mine and everyone else's health. So here I am and now I'm naked, at least that is how it feels. Raw. Its been raw. Life has become so much louder and brighter than before. That is something I am learning how to live and deal with. It will be okay though...actually it will be great....moving along...
Luke had his birthday party. The big 5. It was so much fun at least thats what it looked like from where I was inside my head.
I've been a bit detatched since I found out my cousin Josh died. I have so much to say about him and to him but right now nothing will come. Its frustrating because I want so much to tell how beautiful he was and all the things I saw in him...but not today I guess. I'm too disjointed. I'm going to go and work on my ebay store instead.