At times of struggle and sadness I tend to do the ostrich thing. So that during difficulty I can continue to function with the daily business of living. So on the surface if I was asked why I look tired or angry, or some other unseemly emotion, I can answer with bewilderment? What me? I am fine. You know, fine. But the truth inside me leaks. Sometimes to my dismay and
sometimes it takes me awhile to gather all the leaking clues of lethargy, vodka, and excessive daydreaming about what it'd be like if I was blind, to notice something might not be 'right'.

Luckily for me I have what I think is a special perk from God that has helps me in my life. I have always been a prolific dreamer. When I cannot look at something head on, it will first come at me sideways in the shape of a vivid, colorful, emotional big screen dream. Dreams that draw on all my senses of smell, taste, touch, besides just the sight and sound. Last night's dream was no different it was really an award winner!

In the dream I was wading through the ocean with an unseen friend, a woman whom I loved, but could not see her face, As we waded a fair distance from the shore she would reassure me we were not far from where we were going. As we neared shore I started having stomach pains and doubled over. I sank beneath the water and to my shock when I came up I was holding a newborn baby. He was perfect and I was happily surprised. Someone handed me a piece of paper that had his name on it. I read it and not finding any liking or connection to it, (the name was Eric) decided to name him David, like the David from David and Goliath and like my brother.

When I woke up, the first thought I had was 'Hey, I don't want more children!" But after the initial alarm wore off and I realized my dream was not some longing for another baby.....I snuggled back down under my new feather comforter and rolled the dream around in my thoughts considering all the beautiful little details that safely seemed right out of a movie.