I Throw Crackers When I'm Angry

It has been a long time since I've blogged, but I have an awesome reason/excuse.
Okay, here goes...in a nut shell.
February 7 I quit smoking. Yay alright! After 100's of failed attempts over the last 10 or so years, I randomly came across a show on smoking...okay..it was Oprah. But anyway it was a show on smoking cessation and it had some excellent information. Number one, I learned that there were different kinds of smoking addictions. Yah okay, I thought fine. I already know...I'm the 'hardcore' kind. For some reason I kept watching. They had been interviewing 3 women who had quit and showed how they were doing. For some reason that was really helpful. Near the end they gave a website to take a test to determine what kind of smoker you are. Fast forward I took the test. I was actually surprised to find out the result. Yah, I knew I'd rate the hardcore smoker but didn't know what all that entailed. So here are my dirty issue on a plate for all of blog world. Basically it said my kind of smoker smokes to possible medicate another problem. They smoke chain smoke...ect ect. The most alarming part was that the percentage of people in this category had a next to zero chance of ever quitting. Luckily for me, that made me mad and being the opositional type that my husband says I am, It actually motivated me! So I carefully read the quit plan, and this time I followed. I made an appointment with my beloved head shrinker. I told him what I heard about from Oppie. He surprisingly agreed. After I told him my experiences of trying to quit previously. I go REAL crazy. So he readjusted my medication I already take to just a bit higher. I was supposed to set my quit date a week into taking the new dosage. I was so gung-ho I quit a day early. Possibly before the new med took effect. I should have followed directions. That very evening as I was walking past Tim who was in the computer room I completely lost my mind! He said something to me with a tone of voice I usually ignore, but this time, I didn't keep walking. I backed up to the door of the room. I was eating crackers. 5 crackers to be exact, and I said slowly and softly, enunciating every word.."What did you say?". As he started to repeat with irritation about how he was hungry or something like that, I literally heard a snap inside my head. First I threw the 1 cracker as hard as I possibly could at him, hurting my arm. Then feeling that was not effective, crunched up the last four into tiny tiny pieces and threw them on his head and computer. Yelling all the while about how I work hard and such and such. He just looked at me. He didn't say a word. Later on down the road, I apologized and admitted that I had just quit smoking. He said then that it all made sense.
So the reason I haven't blogged is that my new medication makes me sssssoooooo chilled out, I am too lazy. No just kidding. I think it just numbs my creative drive some. I still think a lot about things I'd like to write about or do, I just haven't.
I'm getting better now. I haven't thrown any crackers since then.